Hello Dynamo fans, Diesel here.
I have advanced into the Elite Eight of MLSsoccer.com's Mascot Mania, and I need your vote to go all the way to the top! Let's take a look at the competition for the final rounds of this competition.
- Q (San Jose Earthquakes): Got kicked out of the Muppets for not actually being a puppet. Untrustworthy.
- Kingston (Orlando City SC): Some mascots scare small children, which is fine because small children are easily scared and their opinions shouldn't always be taken into account. Some mascots scare large children, which can be worrisome since these children are closer to being real human beings. And then there is Kingston, who scares well-reasoned human adults because he is, in fact, scary, which is typically not a trait desired in sports mascots.
- Slyde (New England Revolution): As a fellow fox, Slyde is actually a decent guy. But I can't help but feel like he's always up to something with his perpetually arched eyebrow and devilish grin.
- RapidMan (Colorado Rapids): Is it RapidMan or ColgateMan?
- Cozmo (LA Galaxy): A nice mascot (and I'll never besmirch his tacos), but I have sneaking suspicions that he may have had involvement in the infamous power outages during the 2009 Western Conference Final.
- Timber Joey (Portland Timbers): Human. Disqualified.
- Edson (Colorado Rapids): Hold on, another Rapids entrant? How many mascots do these guys have?! [researches on the internet] FOUR?! AND RAPIDMAN ISN'T ONE OF THEM?!? This may, in fact, be rigged.
